Here is an interesting letter from a mother of twins. I thought it may be useful to share her letter, and my answers, with our readers. Note: Minor grammar edits have been made for a smoother read.
Dear Vera,
I hope your boys are doing great!
I have questions re: twins & education. I always thought I’d want to keep the girls together, at least for kindergarden. They start JK next September.
I’m starting to change my mind and wanted to know what you think.
Twin A is precocious. She’s super smart, driven to learn, obsessive about doing things right… and loves rules. She’s very social and loves being with other kids.
Twin B is creative, relaxed… does things at her own pace. She has a poor sense of direction and can’t find something, even if it’s right in front of her. She likes playing and having fun with other kids, but isn’t as intense about being with others. She’s happy on her own.
A’s turned into a huge boss and tattletale with B. B can’t move without A telling her she’s doing things wrong. You can’t ask B something without A answering. B tends to repeat herself if she doesn’t think you’ve sufficiently acknowledged her statement – and A will report that “B said something twice, mommy.”
I’m starting the think that B would be better off being in a separate class right off the bat. I think she could use a few hours a day without A breathing down her neck.
Do you think it’s bad to split them right out of the gate?
(Adrienne, mother of twin girls, age 4, and baby, 18 months)
Answer:
Ahhh… to separate or not to separate. A hot topic indeed. Unfortunately, there is no universal “right answer” to this question. Each multiple birth situation is unique, and further, may change from year to year. The best policy is to communicate early, often and openly with the school, maintaining a flexible attitude as new issues emerge and are resolved.
We kept our MZ boys together until Grade 1, but only because Twin B was rather anxious about going to school “alone”. By the end of Grade One, however, they were both ready to go their separate ways, and it’s been quite good for them, for many similar reasons to the ones you mention.
Our boys both had lots of individual time before they started school, so we felt fine about keeping them together for a bit. (For example, for a 3- month period, Twin A took an Art class while Twin B went to church with us each Sunday, and at other times, Twin B went swimming while A stayed home with one parent.)
Are your girls ever apart? If not, they may relish the “separate” time two different classes can offer, but it could also be a tricky transition if it is new to them. Chat with the girls and see what they say.
Multiple Births Canada actually produced a whole resource package for families and schools, about class placement of multiple birth children. One thing to consider — in addition to the positive or negative emotional impact of separation on each co-multiple — is how you will manage different teaching styles, especially around homework (not such an issue in Kindergarten, but perhaps in later years). Although the same curriculum will of course be delivered by each teacher, often, the individual teacher may have different communication style and work expectations than his/her colleague in the same grade. We have found so far that the years we separate them, the benefits for our boys outweigh the “burdens” of things like managing different homework expectations.
Keep an open mind, include the children and the school/teacher in the decision, and revisit each year.
Good luck, and have fun in Kindergarten!
I have been the owner and photographer of
When looking to photograph twins and a set of triplets at the same time, your best bet is to bring them to an outdoor playground so that they are free to run and play. Also, if your camera is on the manual setting, you want to make sure that you do not forget to change your settings with the aperture and shutter speed throughout the photo shoot as the lighting conditions can change with the clouds moving in front of the sun. I normally decide on my aperture setting based on the number of children I am photographing, in this case there are 5 brothers, so I made sure to have my aperture setting at F-Stop 5 and I did not lower my aperture setting unless I was shooting one boy at a time.
If you end up using your wide angle lens to fit all the children inside your photo, just make sure you do not end up getting too close with it or else you will end up warping the kids who are closer to the edge of the photo. The same thing applies with your point and shoot camera lens. I used my Canon EF 50mm f/1.2L USM lens, which is my favorite lens for taking portraits. Although I could not zoom out with my lens, I used the next best thing, my legs! Just take a couple of steps back and voila, you have everyone in your image and there is no warping to the children.
Clothing is also important to consider when you want to take some great family portraits of your children. We had the boys dressed up in their white tops and blue jeans and this made the photos look fresh and clean. If the children are dressed in different colours, than you will want to make sure you coordinate where they stand beside each other based on the colours they are wearing.
My boys and I are en route home from a service trip to a school in Honduras. For those of you dreading travel with your baby twins or triplets, take heart in the photos below. As you can see, once your children get a little older, having several at a time can actually be an asset. I carried nothing more than passports and boarding passes, while my two 6-year-olds managed all our carry on luggage.
Yes, friends, with a little pre-planning and good training from an early age, travel with multiples can be a pleasent and enjoyable experience!
If you’ve finally mastered the art of diapering your newborns, and are getting them changed superfast like an assembly line, you may be surprised to discover your twins suddenly wiggling free of the diaper change area and “launching” themselves up whilst you attempt to change them!
