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How to Decrease the Sibling Rivalry Between Your Twins - Babies in Belly

How to Decrease the Sibling Rivalry Between Your Twins


Posted by vera | Posted in Parenting | Posted on 27-04-2012

sibling-rivalry-fighting-twinsBeing taught to share is one of the first lessons we learn as children. And if you’re a twin, you’re expected to share clothes, toys, friends, schools, activities and even the same parents. As much fun as some of this sharing can be, however, sometimes sharing the exact same things all your life with someone who may even share – as in the case of monozygotic twins – your physical appearance can create a tendency for twins to act out for attention as well as strain the twins’ relationship.

Of course, a little bit of rivalry is common between siblings—but to ensure that competition, fights and jealousy don’t tear your twins apart, be sure to check out the following ways to decrease the sibling rivalry between them:

Spend time with each child individually.

Twins can sometimes feel like they only come as part of a package deal…and because of this, competition often arises. To avoid competition between your kiddos, make sure that you set aside special time to spend with each twin on his/her own to give them each your undivided attention. Focusing on one twin at a time and strengthening your bond with them individually can contribute to each child’s happiness, and will often lower the inclination they have to fight with each other.

Don’t compare the twins.

All their lives, twins and multiples face constant comparison to one another by friends, teachers, and almost everyone else they encounter. This is why it’s crucial as a parent to do your best to keep them from being compared to one another at home. Keep feelings of inadequacy at bay by never highlighting one twin’s achievements or talents above the other’s. Always positively focus on both of their strengths while being mindful not to put the other one down in the process. Not only will this prevent sibling rivalry from rearing its ugly head, but it will also instill confidence and positive self-esteem in each of your children.

Help (especially monozygotic) multiples develop their own identity.

Just because they look the same on the outside doesn’t mean they are anything alike on the inside. Each co-multiple is a unique individual, and to keep the sibling rivalry at bay, as a parent you need to embrace each of them as a unique individual, and help them grow into the people they are meant to be. They may be complete polar opposites of one another and that is okay—be patient, teach your twins to always be themselves no matter what, and to accept each other despite their differences.

Emphasize the importance of family.

Siblings are going to fight—there is no way around that. But so the fighting and arguments don’t become a rivalry comparable to the divide between the North and the South during the American Civil War, teach your kids early on the importance of your family unit. The bond shared between twins is one that is stronger than any other—so be sure to celebrate and nurture that bond by spending quality time together and showing them that family always comes first.

Be a role model.

In the eyes of your kids you beat out Superman for the number one hero and it’s no surprise that they look up to you. And since especially young children pick up and imitate everything you say and do, it’s imperative to set the best example of how to treat others so that they can learn to apply those examples to the way they treat their co-multiple (and other siblings). As difficult it can be on certain days when you just want to scream, make a conscious effort to only speak positively around your twins. Be a role model for treating others with kindness, love and forgiveness, and your twins are more likely to do the same with each other.

This special post comes from Cindy McDonald, who is a guest post author who shares with us her tips for decreasing sibling rivalry between twins. In addition to being a parents of twins herself, Cindy also owns a Christian Dating Site where she offers advice to singles about safe online dating.



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