Lesson 5 of 5: “Bonding”

Man Kissing Woman's BellyHere’s the final installment of Section One, where we’ll look at “Bonding”. As always, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!

Bonding with more than one can be a challenge; especially in the early weeks/months after the babies are born, it feels like all you do is feed, burp and change them. It can be quite overwhelming, really, and unless you have piles of help, there are never enough hands.

Why am I telling you this, you ask? Just to impress upon you the importance of doing as much as you can PRE-natally. You can begin bonding with your babies now, so that if/when things get crazy once they’re on the other side, at least you have a good start to fall back and build on later on when you have time to come up for air!

If you haven’t already, you can start zeroing in on some names. Once you select the names, call your babies by those names whenever you talk or read to them in utero.

Audio Note

Dad/Partner can talk, sing and read also–this will become “easier” to do once you feel (and eventually see) movement, Dad/Partner. But in the meantime, even if it feels silly, do it anyway. If nothing else, it will form good habits for relating to your kids later on.

introBellyThere is some debate as to whether unborn children can actually “hear” in utero. My first client ever was a pediatrician, (how’s that for intimidating!), and he claimed there was too much “padding”, that while unborn babies have the “potential” to hear by month five in utero, in fact they could not actually hear anything, since the fluids they were swimming in and the thick lining of the uterus sheltered them from sound. I went home totally devastated and thinking I had the wrong information. But then my husband reminded me of two stories:

1) He frequently talked to our boys in utero. On the day they were born, twin A (our Alex) came out screaming. Trevor walked over to the table they put him on after he was born, and said “Happy Birthday, Alex”, upon which Alex immediately stopped crying and turned his head towards the voice he recognized!!!

2) Until the boys were five, we had a loud, barking dog Spencer. When the boys came home from the hospital, we put them in their car seats on the living room floor and worried that Spencer’s barking would wake or disturb them. Spencer came over and sniffed them, then there was a knock on the door, and sure enough, he started barking. But… the boys were totally unphased, and again we realised that they must recognize the sound from hearing him bark so often in utero!

So, do babies hear in utero? I guess we don’t know for sure, but it sure seems so! And getting back to the bonding thing, even if they CAN’T hear, at least we as parents begin to connect with our children when we talk to and read to them so early on, so that we get into good communication habits right from day one. 

Sometimes parents (mothers-to-be especially) are encouraged to listen to relaxing music. This soothes the babies, even if they can’t hear it, as the mom is relaxed by listening to music she enjoys. So go ahead, listen!

Here are two interesting websites related to this topic:


Read and discuss, as a couple, at least ONE of the above two articles. Think about how you might work together to begin bonding with your unborn babies.

May I also suggest that both partners begin writing a series of letters to the babies, either individually or collectively. These letters can serve as a journal of your thoughts before the arrival of your little angels, and will make a great gift for your teenagers later on!