Why You Should Write Letters To Your Twins – Before They’re Even Born!

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Posted by vera | Posted in Twins or Multiple Birth Pregnancy | Posted on 26-01-2013

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Writing a journal while pregnant with twins keeps precious memories you may otherwise lose track ofAlthough I briefly address documenting your journey with twins, triplets or higher-order multiples in a few of the lessons of my twins prenatal class, I’d like to go into more detail in this blog post, especially for parents and expectant parents of multiples who find the more traditional methods unappealing.

If you are not a journaler or a scrap-booker, and you don’t want your pregnant twins’ belly cast or bronzed baby feet hanging from your wall, there are still ways you can make a special keepsake to document the experience of carrying and caring for newborn, preschool, toddler and school-age twins and multiples.

Before I knew I was expecting twins, I was convinced that my one baby was a girl. Although I had tried several times, I am not very good at keeping journals. But since I write fairly well when I have an audience, I began to write “Letters to Maiya”, (which soon became “Letters to Alex and Simon!”)

Periodically, I go back and reread these letters, which I wrote about once every 10 – 14 days from my pregnancy until the boys were about 3 months old.  It is such a wonder – now that I’ve known the recipients for nearly 9 years – to read my thoughts and reflections I had while I was pregnant with them.

These letters will make an interesting document for the boys when they are older, and, should anything ever happen to be before they are “grown up”, the letters will surely become a treasured gift to my children.  

Their dad also wrote a few letters in anticipation, and we keep these together in one envelope with their names on it.

Some expectant parents of multiples might want to write letters to each individual child.  This can be a particularly special and important gift for triplets, quadruplets and quintuplets, who are often “lumped together”, and would definitely cherish the individual letters written especially for them.  

The letters can contain some shared “group” stories (for example, the triplets’ birth story), but you should try to focus on a few individual special stories related to each baby or child.  (Documenting this information as it happens helps to build the collective family repertoire, too, which may become lost after the fuzziness and chaos of the first few weeks/months at home with two, three or more newborns!)

When I was pregnant with twins, I found myself in the midst of a scrapbooking craze.  Although I scrapbooked voraciously for the first several years of the boys’ lives, I soon moved on to other hobbies, leaving the expensive photos albums behind.

I was no longer pasting snapshots of my newborn twins on fancy paper in a photo album, but I continued to document our lives together online, via my personal blog, At first, I used my blog mainly to reflect on teaching and learning, as I had posted many teaching resources there.  But I soon found it a place to store special photos of the boys, along with more detailed commentary and reflections about various experiences we’d shared together as a family or individually with each child.

Another project I started around the time the boys were about 3 years old was “Letters to my Unborn Grandchildren”, a notebook of letters to Alex and/or Simon’s kids, should they ever have any, chronicling some events in their lives and mine.  

Coming from a fairly small family myself, I often wonder now – as an adult – about some of the events I had heard my mother and grandmother allude to when I was a child, but they are no longer around to fill in the details.  After my mother died, one of my most cherished possessions was a notebook she left me, outlining things as simple as how to take care of the rhododendron bush in the garden.  I often wished my grandmother had left me a similarly fascinating and mundane notebook.  So now, whenever I am flying as a passenger in an airliner, I take the opportunity to write a letter to my not-yet-born grandchildren.  Over the course of 4 years or so, I’ve only written about 7 letters, but I still think it will make a neat keepsake for Alex and Simon, and for their children, if they ever have any!

Multiple Birth Children often fall victim to “too busy” parents trying to keep up with just managing the basics of parenting.  By taking a few moments to consider and follow through on a fun documentation project that suits your particular style, you can create a unique family heirloom for your twins, triplets or higher-order multiples.

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